Most days? I am great.
Most days? I am good with where I am, who I've let in my life, what I am doing, and how it all happens.
But then comes that day.
That day when I look at the people I'm surrounded with (different than who I've let in) and I see their rapport and fun (without me) and remember. I remember when I had that and let it go. For good reasons! For excellent reasons actually, but oh do I ever miss it. And I want it back!
That feeling of just getting each other. When whatever mistakes either of you make, it doesn't matter, the other person always understands. The moment that things may happen or words may be said and because you know the other person so well, it's incredibly easy to let it go. To let it slide right off your back.
Those moments when even on miserable days, when everything is going wrong or you're incredibly busy and stressed, you can meet up during that day and, even if only for a few seconds, you can laugh about something or other, or just give a smile and the day gets just a tiny bit better.
You can breathe again.
Those sort of people? Where you eat lunch together and encourage each other in little ways and laugh and cry together. Those people are awesome. Those people are gems. They're rare gems!
Having been around lots of different sorts of people in my adult years, I feel I have the experience to say "Enjoy them." Enjoy that time, enjoy those moments, enjoy those people. In fact, let them know that you enjoy them. Because it may not last.
Circumstances happen. Things change. Life changes. And those awesome people? May become a part of your past instead of your future.
And it's not fun.
When you know what you once had and now you don't. It's at that moment that I wonder if it would have been better to never know that at all than to have it and lose it! But no. That's not right either. Those moments and those people are precious. And even if all I have are the memories (plus text messages and emails!), those memories can see me through these moments without them.
What I'm trying to say, I think, is that hope is always there.
And even in the hard moments, even in the why moments, even in the crying moments, that hope, while only a teeny tiny light in the darkness, is NOT extinguished yet. And someday it'll grow a whole lot bigger! Even if not in this life but the next one, it'll be so huge by then that He's all I'll be able to see!
He IS hope!
And His arms are wonderfully tight around me at the moment. (Did you know? God gives some of the best hugs of all. :)