4/25/18

unsettled truth

It's overcast & drizzly
the weather uncertain what it wants
Likewise my heart
Uncertain plans
Uncertain feelings
Uncertain life
Unsettled
The yellow truck whizzes by
a bit of happy in a grayish world
& my soul stretches out its arms
seeking rest & peace
A gentle reminder
just when I need it
God's got this!
Truth words given by a dear friend
who understands this unsettled way of being
The rain continues
pouring out of the sky
bringing crispness
& clarity?
Weakness is strength
Contradictory
Yet True
OUR weakness
HIS strength
& when can't He work mightily
when I'M out of the way?
Letting go
Prying my fingers
(joint by joint)
off of my life
Owning that I'm not capable
(of anything)
Yet HE is strength
& Peace
& Calm
especially in the midst of rain
He sends the yellow trucks
& the happy laughter behind me
& every tiny reminder that
He
Has
It
All
Under
Control
(no matter what it looks or feels like)
It can feel all willy-nilly
but it's not
It never is with Him
Ever
Remember that

kara
4.23.18

4/17/18

kindred spirits

I just walked into my usual room at the library and as soon as I sat down, I noticed the person sitting across from me. It's a Quiet Room so we weren't allowed to chat, but we instantly recognized each other and he mouthed that it'd been a long time. And it has! It's actually been a few months since we've run into each other here. For a period of time a few months ago, we met often in this room. Never actually talking, but always acknowledging and smiling. It's felt like a strange but awesome "friendship". Like we actually know each other, when we really don't.

Seeing him again tonight made my mind spin with thoughts (naturally :). The extent of our interaction has only ever been seeing the other and acknowledging their existence in the realm of the Quiet Room. We've never arrived or left at the same time, we've never seen each other anywhere else, we don't know anything about the other at all, we've only just spent an hour or two at most in this same room at the same time. Isn't it funny these little connections we humans can have? Because, like I said, we've never even really talked, yet when we saw each other tonight it was an instant acknowledgment from both of us that "Hey! I know that person!" :)

Doesn't that mean something to us? I do believe we were created to seek connections with our fellow humans and, crazy as it may sound, even a small connection such as this one can make one feel less alone in the world. If that makes sense?

It's like that Anne of Green Gables quote that I love: "Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It's splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world."

What's the definition of a kindred spirit anyway? According to google, it's "a person whose interests or attitudes are similar to one's own." So doesn't that mean that someone can be a kindred spirit just because you both happen to love the library and spending time there working on projects?

Jumping off of that definition and into the deeper end of things, that really must mean that we have a lot of kindred spirits in the world! I mean, isn't that a comforting thought? That it doesn't take a huge amount of effort on anybody's part, it simply takes being around one another in some capacity and finding a connection. Even a small, teeny, tiny connection such as the Quiet Room.

And when we find it, don't we tend to look forward to it then? I remember when this person and I were seeing each other on a fairly regular basis, I did look forward to it. Mainly by wondering if we'd run into each other again that day or not. And it's just a really pleasant thing to have a smiling face welcoming you somewhere, even somewhere as comforting as the library is for me.

I think that's all any single one of us wants. Isn't it? To feel welcome? To feel happy? To feel like someone else sees us? Even if only for a moment of time?

It matters, is what I'm saying.

We thrive when we have connections. So here's my challenge to myself, enjoy them! Treasure them! And search them out. Small ones can be just as joyful and happy as the deeper ones we have with our lifelong friends.

Don't you think so too?