Do you cringe when you hear or read that word?
Confession: I do. I lack patience. Oh, how I lack patience! I know. Everybody says that. But we tend to repeat what's true. Like as if the more I say it, the less true it'll be. Or something. Because I don't want this particular true. I want to be the good girl. The person that patience is a known factor in my life. That has no problems with wait.
Yeah, not so much. I don't like waiting. Even though I know it's part of life, all the time life, I still struggle with it. And right now, when I feel like a perpetual waiting, when my life seems to be at a standstill, when I know I should be moving forward, when I seek....something, but that something is out of reach....
In the waiting...
I'm learning this is a place I visit often. The more life I live, the more time spent here. It seems to be a place of learning......of resting......of being. Where that will lead, only my Father knows. But that's the beauty of it! What I can come back to and rest in and trust in, time after time after time. My Father knows.
How my heart settles when those words ring through it. Such a simple thought. So simple in fact, that to others it may seem a bit silly. A bit untrustworthy. Because humans tend to make complicated. The simple is to be doubted and the complicated trusted. Which....makes no sense when you think about it. But there we are.
And here we are.
Forced into moments of wait.
It's not fun. Nine times out of ten, we do not like it. Yet....it does have its moments. When I realize that what I was waiting on has actually came true and the fact that I waited made it ever so much more precious. That's what our Father knows. It's why He's God, after all. Because He always knows. And I am so glad He does. I sure don't. It's those moments that I realize there was a purpose to the waiting. A purpose that would never have been realized had I pushed ahead anyway.
So at the end of the day? Gratefulness is what I feel. Even in the seemingly yucky place of being in the waiting moments......I always come back to gratitude.