And Yet...

As I sit here in my quiet, little corner....my mind is wandering so many different directions. About books........about blogging......about my friends......about my job......about life........about my life. As I anticipate the comfort of a chai tea forthwith, I wonder about my comfort levels. And why my life is heading this way, when maybe it should be heading that way.

Who can grasp any kind of understanding of transition?



Because that's what my life seems to be all about right now. Not saying that's a bad thing! Just contemplating the fact of it.
Transition - noun - movement, passage, or change from one position, state, stage, subject, concept, etc., to another; change.
Yup. That's me alright. Even though I'm not actually going anywhere. Even though I'm not planning anymore upheaval and craziness currently. Even though I'm sitting perfectly still (well, except for the jiggling leg), the space all around my heart just feels like transition.

What that consists of? I really don't know.

All I can tell you is that while life has settled since my Big Move (yes, it deserves caps!), it doesn't feel settled at the same time? Yeah. I know. That makes no sense. But see? It actually kinda does. In a strange, nonsensical, only in my brain and heart, kind of way.

The thing with transition though? As currently living in the state of, I mean. Is that with it comes...fear.

A fear that I'll fall one too many times. A fear that life could be....more. More something. I just don't know what. And here I am. Sitting. Going nowhere. Yet not settled either.

Fear is such a motivator for people. Definitely me! And should it be? Really truly?

In this time of transition, do I really want to let fear control my life? NO! I don't.

And yet.....

That's the kicker, isn't it? Fear shouldn't control, yet by it's very existence, it pushes us out of ourselves. It pushes us to do something. Now granted, that something isn't always a good thing. I am not here to say that fear is the best thing ever. (In fact, it mostly stinks!) Yet I have to acknowledge that it's been my fears that have motivated me to pray more, to call someone up, to even make a Big Move.





Churning thoughts run through my brain in lickety split speeds. And making sense of it all? *shrugs* Only God can do that.

I can say without one question or doubt, that I am ever so grateful He does!

And yet....

This is why I titled this blog as such. Because this journey? This transitional time? I fight fears and insecurities and doubts, and yet "God's in His Heaven, all's right with the world".


Don't ever leave home without it. :)


  1. '' That's the kicker, isn't it? Fear shouldn't control, yet by it's very existence, it pushes us out of ourselves. It pushes us to do something.''

    Wow. Deep. I never thought of it that way... fear propels us to seek God. Countless times I've prayed through tears that it would leave... it quiets down for a while but rages wildly when I don't expect it. There is this verse I've been thinking about, your words remind me of it : '' My grace is sufficient... my power is made perfect in your weakness''. We may feel like something in our lives could be more, or that we are loss in the chaos of transition - two fears that I can so, SO relate to!- but His Grace is perfect in our weaknesses. He understands. What comfort, what hope! Thank you for sharing :)

    1. I know exactly how you feel, Ganise! Fear rages in my life a great deal. I feel like I'm almost constantly fighting it. That verse is so beautiful and comforting, isn't it? Fears try to prevail, but God always nudges me back with the reminders that He's got me in His hands. And He'll never let me go! I'm ever so grateful to Him.

      Thanks for reading! :)