This week has the potential of overwhelming my heart. It has the potential of stealing my joy and tripping me up. But it also has the potential for me to see God beautifully orchestrate circumstances beyond my control for His glory. It has the potential for me to experience a quiet heart in the chaos of life. By His grace, I am choosing the latter.This was timely for a couple reasons. There was some Hard I was dealing with at that moment which had nothing to do with losing mom. (And I was struggling with it. Because losing mom has been difficult, but adding more turmoil to my heart on top of that was the pits!) But as I got through that and then focused back on my grief, I realized this was still true. The enemy is absolutely determined to steal joy from me. And I refuse to let him. I must choose that every single day actually, because he never gives up. Thankfully? Neither does my Father! And guess Who's going to win?! :)
I am choosing to rejoice in what is to come and to be confident in Who my God is. I am choosing to base my days off of His promises and not my feelings. I am choosing to throw my cares at the foot of the cross instead of carrying them like dead weight on my back. I am choosing to trust Jesus and thank Him for being faithful before tomorrow even comes. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and He will certainly be faithful tomorrow.
As Elisabeth Elliot once said - "Today is mine. Tomorrow is none of my business. If I peer anxiously into the fog of the future, I will strain my spiritual eyes so that I will not see clearly what is required of me now." I am leaving the worries in His hands and lifting my own in worship this evening. This week not only has the potential to be a beautiful display of His grace, it can be a reality because our God is just that good.
For all the sad I'm feeling, for the hurt and the pain of saying goodbye way before I was ready (which, I'm pretty sure I'd never be ready to let go of my mother), for the myriad of emotions that I struggle with daily, this One Thing I have never, ever been in doubt of: the Hope that I will see her again some day, that she's left her wheelchair and her broken body behind and is with Jesus where no tears will ever be felt again, only Joy!
That gets me out of bed every day. That eases the pain SO much. That thought is one of the most comforting things. It really, really is!
So take that, satan. I'm choosing JOY! Even in the midst of my tears and this hole in my heart that will most likely never go away completely, I. Choose. Joy. I choose Hope. I choose Jesus.
He will NEVER let me down.